I am that desperate

Shhh! We are five weeks and two days pregnant. Far too many people know this early on. My trainer at the club, my hygienist, my yoga instructor, a friend from MOPS I just couldn't lie to.
Morning sickness hasn't hit yet. Slight nausea though. With my first pregnancy, which was an invitro baby, I had no morning sickness and spontaneously miscarried. We didn't learn of this until the 11th week. Since then we have decided not to share our good news until the end of the first trimester. Now, I am remembering how much I dread morning or all day sickness but secretly panic when I don't get sick. I have totally fallen for the belief that if I'm not sick, it's not a strong pregnancy. So I wait and dread being sick. It's just the way it is for me. One must have misery to have also have good news.
I know that's broken thinking. It doesn't have to be that way. Somehow I just find comfort that everything will work out well in the end if we do have some misery. Blah. I really dislike that about myself.
Here's one for ya. Our house we be on the market for the eighth month as of the 19th. I am doing my very best to just trust God with the health of the pregnancy he blessed us with and working out the housing for us. I must remind myself we only listed because we thought it was God's will. Hmm. How troubling that I confuse myself over such things.
At this point I am desperate enough to bury St. Joseph upside down in the yard. Wait... what? I am no longer a practicing Catholic. I am a Jesus loving Christian, but do I pray to the saints or to my Lord. Don't answer, it's a rhetorical question. What I'm getting at is I'm just that desperate. I want to know that it will all work out and now I clearly have a dead line on it. I would like to be in the house by June so we can be settled and organized before the baby comes. Not just in, but settled and organized. I am an old Mom. I am celebrating my 39th birthday next month. I need almost as much rest as the baby and far more rest than my one and three year old. I'm so overjoyed at being pregnant I could cry. I am blessed, now if only I can trust with the same conviction.