It's okay.

I thought I was pregnant. At day 29, I was was waiting, at day 30 I was waiting. At day 31 I started to rationalize that my cycle must delayed since I've started working out in my heart rate zone. Something I haven't done in a long time. At day 32 I took a pregnancy test. I was sure I saw a faint blue line. With my 2nd I had a faint line for about a week and then finally the line started getting darker. I was embracing the idea and getting excited. Planning when we could share the news. Then at 3;30 on day 33 I started spotting. For a girl who has dealt with infertility, had false positives, had fertility treatments, had a miscarriage, this is rather painless. Still disappointing, but I know God knows best.
We are in a season of waiting. Waiting for the house to sell. Waiting to build. Waiting to know if we will have to move into temporary houseing. Waiting for the "No Regrets" meeting to grow. Waiting for the scale to get low enough to feel confident. Waiting for another conception. Waiting to know God's plan for our family size. It could be this is it. It could be.
I just had to get this off my chest. The only one who knew anything of this of course is my husband. He has already rationalized that now is not good timing. He is fine with this and so I will be too.