Stressful does as stressful is

Having the house on the market is completely inefficient and annoying. I find that cook books and cooking tools are packed up. Especially things you use only for holiday meals. The counter space is cluttered because the stager moved things to look good, but in reality how you use space is totally different. It is frustrating dealing with these annoyances. We don't have tot locks anymore since we listed and my son is at optimal curiosity age. I am so short with him now. He is constantly being redirected and scolded because he naturally is into things he shouldn't be. I feel horrible. He shouldn't be treated this way, and I shouldn't have to be in hyper-baby monitor mode when these situations are entirely preventable. It makes me hate the house, hate the situation and brings out my worst parenting. Both my children deserve better and yet there is no end in sight.
We will get showings again after Christmas? Of course. Logically it's likely. It's just so hard to imagine when you don't hear the phone ring for since the middle of November. It's like trying to take a rest but needing to keep one eye open, Not really as restful as it could or should be. To add to that, there is no reason to take it off the market because any agent sees the entire history of the home and it doesn't change the number of days if you take it off. It just tells buyers you took a break, but doesn't change there outlook on you listing info. This too is frustrating because there is no history of our first offer with our other agent who didn't put the house to pending sale. Buyers don't' know that after two months we had a full price offer. They also will not know about the purchase negations that occurred in the beginning of November lasting a full week but failing to close due to a closing date issue. All we can do is hope that interest rates are enticing, and someone see the value of our home and wants to buy in Feb. If that doesn't happen we have an entirely different issue. Our agent signed us to be listed with her for five months. If we don't' have a buyer we not have a lot anymore. If we don't have a lot do we want to sell?
I'm am ready to have new things happen, but my DH, he could care less. He is not dying to get out of here. But then again he isn't a full time Dad who is disgusted in his outburst over totally ridiculous issues, like the kids hiding behind the stager's chair and playing next to the corners of the glass end table, which when they are calm is no big deal, but they start to wrestle over things could mean a serious injury. I'm being redundant. So glad to simply vent. I pray I do better for my kids. I am disappointed in how much I have been yelling and how short I have been with them over these house issues. Blah. I need to step back and do better. Deep breathes.

It's okay.

I thought I was pregnant. At day 29, I was was waiting, at day 30 I was waiting. At day 31 I started to rationalize that my cycle must delayed since I've started working out in my heart rate zone. Something I haven't done in a long time. At day 32 I took a pregnancy test. I was sure I saw a faint blue line. With my 2nd I had a faint line for about a week and then finally the line started getting darker. I was embracing the idea and getting excited. Planning when we could share the news. Then at 3;30 on day 33 I started spotting. For a girl who has dealt with infertility, had false positives, had fertility treatments, had a miscarriage, this is rather painless. Still disappointing, but I know God knows best.
We are in a season of waiting. Waiting for the house to sell. Waiting to build. Waiting to know if we will have to move into temporary houseing. Waiting for the "No Regrets" meeting to grow. Waiting for the scale to get low enough to feel confident. Waiting for another conception. Waiting to know God's plan for our family size. It could be this is it. It could be.
I just had to get this off my chest. The only one who knew anything of this of course is my husband. He has already rationalized that now is not good timing. He is fine with this and so I will be too.