Crazy Story

I am going to preface this story with some facts.
FACTS:
1) I am a recovered alcoholic with over eight years sobriety.
2) No human power could cure me, only a power greater than myself whom I call God
3) I have been practicing listening to God & seeking his will for my life since day one of recovery.
4) I believe God speaks to us through others, music, books, nature, moments of peace, prayer and meditation.
5) I believe speaking with others with experience is wise council.
6) I truly believed we would live in our house FOREVER! or until we were really old.
7) I would rather have freedom to spend then a big house restricting our options.
That's enough facts. Here is the Crazy story or God speaking to me.... I believe it was God.

It's been two and half years since my husband told me how unhappy he was that I wasn't willing to move. He said he never thought we would stay in this house. It was a starter house, not a lifetime house. We looked online and decided for the upgrades we had done to our home we were not in a situation to move. We would have to downgrade so many things or space that it just didn't make sense. But at that point the seed was planted and I was never as content about staying in our home. Financially I was convicted, but considering my husbands feelings I just never had the same sense of ease.
Then we had our second child and other things were brought to light. The dangers our home imposed to the smallest of children, the two children in one room issue, the noisy playtime vs. baby nap time. There is also the issue of my gardens. They are beautiful, big, and many of them, eight to be exact. You can see how extremely time consuming it is to tend them and the hedges along the house. I end up going for walks and the park when I need to be weeding and edging.
I will have gardens again, but not until my children are more independent from me and there is time for them. I have already begun to remove flowers and plants shrubs in one. Aside from that, their are yet others typical daily living situations that have come up and the answer is to move. Get a different layout, different yard, larger garage, and less hardscape.
The start of the story wasn't even about moving. I asked my husband for more kitchen cabinets and some more efficient features. We were planning to change the island to the length of the kitchen table space and the present island, achieving more cabinet storage and a cleaner look. We were worried about over upgrading. We already added an addition, tile, and laminate floors to the entire upper level, with the exception of a patch of carpet in the living room for my husband. If you are wondering why laminate, it's because we have a dog and wood floors don't hold up as well as laminate. We have custom trim woodwork, built-ins, custom double sink vanity, all blind wood blinds and cellu-shades. Upgraded lighting in each room, ceiling fans, blah blah blah. We ended up getting three different market analysis and each one said "No more, it's time to sell, get a new home" We live right next to a community center and Jr. High school. a mile from an elementary school and a city sand bottom pool with a park, two blocks from another park, which I am only sharing so you know that we are in a sweet location. Location, location, location. right? Definitely!
So, I prayed and we discussed and I asked a few people if we were going to put in the market, when? They said "now" so I gave our home and extreme de-clutter and in two weeks we listed.
It was during all this time, praying, researching, asking, deciding that I felt I was being guided.
When it first came up, I asked a friend about agents. She said "you know, so & so" and I replied, "Ya, but" and then went and got info from someone else. Two days later, I ran into "so & so's" wife at the grocery store. She said I should give him a call. I never took a number, but then did call. He gave us our highest analysis of course. Then right before we went on the market I told a friend I felt I was being called to a certain neighborhood. He said you know "so & so" has property up there. I said "Ya, but" and a few days later, ran into his son at the hardware store. I didn't get a number, but decided to give him a call. We really liked his properties. Now what are the chances, the same scenario would play out with two weeks of each other. That to me was clear guidance. Not coincidence, I don't believe in that. I believe in God.
I had so much peace while I was packing up the house, I thought I would never leave. Yet it really felt the right thing to do.
Here's the part, I am still unsure of. On June 18th, the day before my brother's wedding, we called an agent (who is tied to building) recommended by a friend, and no one form the agency called us back. Then again the second time I tried to get info on the floor plans, we were given the run around from another agency. Then the third time I tried to reach them, we got a error message from the phone service. Now that was three unanswered attempts. I considered that a red flag. My husband asked why I was so intent on seeking them out and it was to see their floor plans. We hadn't yet found the floor plans that we were both in love with. The next time I called they answered, we had an appointment, and our first visit, they threw out a number and we were open to it, if they could get a certain property we wanted.
While I was contemplating this offer, I discovered the draftsman for the potential builders and discussed the floor plan, enticing me even more. It really seemed like everything was falling into place. Being led to Mr. So & So, seeking the land that the other Mr. So & So owned, calling his draftsman to learn about the floor plans pricing and affordability all brought us back to the "unreachable agent".
The rest of the story goes like this. Our first agent, Mr. So & So, pressured us to accept and offer from a family who never produced a pre-approval letter. We wrote a purchase agreement to build based on our purchase agreement for selling our home. Then everything fell apart. Our agent insisted we not cancel our agreement with the potential buyers thinking their financing would work out, In the mean time he put his house on the market and held open houses two weekends in a row. So I confronted him and dropped him. The agent we had the purchase agreement with, purchased the land from the other Mr. So & So and everything still seemed to be working out. In a confusing way, but it all still seemed God directed. Now, our agents to build are our agents to sell, and we are in a contract with them until Feb 28th. So to sum all this up. I am now asking God if I misinterpreted everything, then help me to find peace staying in this home. Help us to drop the idea of moving and going forward any further. If we have not sold at, the end of the contract, help us to let go. It must not be in the cards.
It could just bed that we are not supposed to be working with the untouchables and I should have not persisted in working with them? This is what I need clarity on. After deciding I am no longer in love with this house, I don't want to be here anymore. It seems exciting to start over in a new neighborhood and new lay out and all that, not wanting to leave our awesome neighborhood. Ugh.
I wrote this more for me than you. Just saying. I have some praying and mediating to do. That is a also a fact. :)