What a drag

I can see my marriage crumble before my eyes. Trying to determine what type of home we would move into is going to be the end of us. In twenty minutes time all he has done is tell me what kind of house we are going to get and if I want something else I have a problem. He has insulted me, called me names and raised his voice without even hearing what I would like in a home. I am home with the kids, I work out of the home and he is deciding what we need in a home.
This sucks. I would rather stay here in the home I love, with all my plants and neighbors I already know and all my comforts. This new home process is almost impossible anyway. Sell your home and hope you find a new home in your price range you like. What are the chances? I know God has a plan for us but I haven't given enough prayer to this situation to feel lead.
If you build a home it would take a six months minimum to get into it. Renting for any amount of time and moving twice all sees so senseless.
New home ~ not today. We just replaced a whole bunch of appliances anyway. Now the garage door opener needs to be replaced. Once we replaced all of it nothing should break for a long time anyway.
There is nothing exciting or so great about this process. Nothing.

My blog inspiration

Now that I have shared about the possibility of moving, what about my gardens? I look around and think I will never have gardens like this again. Maybe that is good. Less is more kind of thing, but I will miss some of these beautiful plants. Plants that took some time to grow. The grasses, giant rudebekia, large hostas, moon bean coreaopsis, bright orange lillium, my peony bushes, Mrs. Robert Braydon clematis, I found it after a year of searching and now it's finally trailing along my stone wall. I don't want to give up my wall. Or my beautiful shaker style vinyl siding shed. The Amur maple I used to hate and have come to love, the River Birch I planted when my Grandfather died. The bushes I was convinced were dead that my husband replanted and resurrected. Twelve years of shaping, moving, planting and replanting. The money, time, thought, but mostly the idea of it all. Everything my gardens represent about my soul.
Having two children under the age of three leaves plenty of tending to do. Plenty. I can always plant again. I know I can always plant again.

To move or not to move

We are having a market analysis done on our home. We have upgraded our self right out of the neighborhood. We are now at a point that we need to consider moving. Not because we don't love our neighbors or have enough social space, but because we are a consumable materialist society and we have stuff, kid stuff, craft stuff, sport stuff, and office stuff. I know you have "stuff" too. Well we are a bedroom short on our main level and a garage stall short for the wagon, bike, stroller and so on.
It is a struggle to consider new neighbors, new mortgage, desires, needs vs wants, and location, location, location. Even in my home time location is an issue. I am partial to staying as close as possible to our current location, I also don't have a desire to be right across from a school.
Then there is being a good steward of God's money to consider, being practical and staying in the financial comfort zone, but also not being so frugal 12 years from now we are wishing we just would have spent the money, because here we are.... wishing we would have just spent the money. Then we wouldn't be in this situation. These are big changes, big decisions and I can only pray God's will for us comes shining through. Big and Bright, those are the kind of directions I need, but the Lord already knows that.