Having the house on the market is completely inefficient and annoying. I find that cook books and cooking tools are packed up. Especially things you use only for holiday meals. The counter space is cluttered because the stager moved things to look good, but in reality how you use space is totally different. It is frustrating dealing with these annoyances. We don't have tot locks anymore since we listed and my son is at optimal curiosity age. I am so short with him now. He is constantly being redirected and scolded because he naturally is into things he shouldn't be. I feel horrible. He shouldn't be treated this way, and I shouldn't have to be in hyper-baby monitor mode when these situations are entirely preventable. It makes me hate the house, hate the situation and brings out my worst parenting. Both my children deserve better and yet there is no end in sight.
We will get showings again after Christmas? Of course. Logically it's likely. It's just so hard to imagine when you don't hear the phone ring for since the middle of November. It's like trying to take a rest but needing to keep one eye open, Not really as restful as it could or should be. To add to that, there is no reason to take it off the market because any agent sees the entire history of the home and it doesn't change the number of days if you take it off. It just tells buyers you took a break, but doesn't change there outlook on you listing info. This too is frustrating because there is no history of our first offer with our other agent who didn't put the house to pending sale. Buyers don't' know that after two months we had a full price offer. They also will not know about the purchase negations that occurred in the beginning of November lasting a full week but failing to close due to a closing date issue. All we can do is hope that interest rates are enticing, and someone see the value of our home and wants to buy in Feb. If that doesn't happen we have an entirely different issue. Our agent signed us to be listed with her for five months. If we don't' have a buyer we not have a lot anymore. If we don't have a lot do we want to sell?
I'm am ready to have new things happen, but my DH, he could care less. He is not dying to get out of here. But then again he isn't a full time Dad who is disgusted in his outburst over totally ridiculous issues, like the kids hiding behind the stager's chair and playing next to the corners of the glass end table, which when they are calm is no big deal, but they start to wrestle over things could mean a serious injury. I'm being redundant. So glad to simply vent. I pray I do better for my kids. I am disappointed in how much I have been yelling and how short I have been with them over these house issues. Blah. I need to step back and do better. Deep breathes.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
It's okay.
I thought I was pregnant. At day 29, I was was waiting, at day 30 I was waiting. At day 31 I started to rationalize that my cycle must delayed since I've started working out in my heart rate zone. Something I haven't done in a long time. At day 32 I took a pregnancy test. I was sure I saw a faint blue line. With my 2nd I had a faint line for about a week and then finally the line started getting darker. I was embracing the idea and getting excited. Planning when we could share the news. Then at 3;30 on day 33 I started spotting. For a girl who has dealt with infertility, had false positives, had fertility treatments, had a miscarriage, this is rather painless. Still disappointing, but I know God knows best.
We are in a season of waiting. Waiting for the house to sell. Waiting to build. Waiting to know if we will have to move into temporary houseing. Waiting for the "No Regrets" meeting to grow. Waiting for the scale to get low enough to feel confident. Waiting for another conception. Waiting to know God's plan for our family size. It could be this is it. It could be.
I just had to get this off my chest. The only one who knew anything of this of course is my husband. He has already rationalized that now is not good timing. He is fine with this and so I will be too.
We are in a season of waiting. Waiting for the house to sell. Waiting to build. Waiting to know if we will have to move into temporary houseing. Waiting for the "No Regrets" meeting to grow. Waiting for the scale to get low enough to feel confident. Waiting for another conception. Waiting to know God's plan for our family size. It could be this is it. It could be.
I just had to get this off my chest. The only one who knew anything of this of course is my husband. He has already rationalized that now is not good timing. He is fine with this and so I will be too.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Crazy Story
I am going to preface this story with some facts.
FACTS:
1) I am a recovered alcoholic with over eight years sobriety.
2) No human power could cure me, only a power greater than myself whom I call God
3) I have been practicing listening to God & seeking his will for my life since day one of recovery.
4) I believe God speaks to us through others, music, books, nature, moments of peace, prayer and meditation.
5) I believe speaking with others with experience is wise council.
6) I truly believed we would live in our house FOREVER! or until we were really old.
7) I would rather have freedom to spend then a big house restricting our options.
That's enough facts. Here is the Crazy story or God speaking to me.... I believe it was God.
It's been two and half years since my husband told me how unhappy he was that I wasn't willing to move. He said he never thought we would stay in this house. It was a starter house, not a lifetime house. We looked online and decided for the upgrades we had done to our home we were not in a situation to move. We would have to downgrade so many things or space that it just didn't make sense. But at that point the seed was planted and I was never as content about staying in our home. Financially I was convicted, but considering my husbands feelings I just never had the same sense of ease.
Then we had our second child and other things were brought to light. The dangers our home imposed to the smallest of children, the two children in one room issue, the noisy playtime vs. baby nap time. There is also the issue of my gardens. They are beautiful, big, and many of them, eight to be exact. You can see how extremely time consuming it is to tend them and the hedges along the house. I end up going for walks and the park when I need to be weeding and edging.
I will have gardens again, but not until my children are more independent from me and there is time for them. I have already begun to remove flowers and plants shrubs in one. Aside from that, their are yet others typical daily living situations that have come up and the answer is to move. Get a different layout, different yard, larger garage, and less hardscape.
The start of the story wasn't even about moving. I asked my husband for more kitchen cabinets and some more efficient features. We were planning to change the island to the length of the kitchen table space and the present island, achieving more cabinet storage and a cleaner look. We were worried about over upgrading. We already added an addition, tile, and laminate floors to the entire upper level, with the exception of a patch of carpet in the living room for my husband. If you are wondering why laminate, it's because we have a dog and wood floors don't hold up as well as laminate. We have custom trim woodwork, built-ins, custom double sink vanity, all blind wood blinds and cellu-shades. Upgraded lighting in each room, ceiling fans, blah blah blah. We ended up getting three different market analysis and each one said "No more, it's time to sell, get a new home" We live right next to a community center and Jr. High school. a mile from an elementary school and a city sand bottom pool with a park, two blocks from another park, which I am only sharing so you know that we are in a sweet location. Location, location, location. right? Definitely!
So, I prayed and we discussed and I asked a few people if we were going to put in the market, when? They said "now" so I gave our home and extreme de-clutter and in two weeks we listed.
It was during all this time, praying, researching, asking, deciding that I felt I was being guided.
When it first came up, I asked a friend about agents. She said "you know, so & so" and I replied, "Ya, but" and then went and got info from someone else. Two days later, I ran into "so & so's" wife at the grocery store. She said I should give him a call. I never took a number, but then did call. He gave us our highest analysis of course. Then right before we went on the market I told a friend I felt I was being called to a certain neighborhood. He said you know "so & so" has property up there. I said "Ya, but" and a few days later, ran into his son at the hardware store. I didn't get a number, but decided to give him a call. We really liked his properties. Now what are the chances, the same scenario would play out with two weeks of each other. That to me was clear guidance. Not coincidence, I don't believe in that. I believe in God.
I had so much peace while I was packing up the house, I thought I would never leave. Yet it really felt the right thing to do.
Here's the part, I am still unsure of. On June 18th, the day before my brother's wedding, we called an agent (who is tied to building) recommended by a friend, and no one form the agency called us back. Then again the second time I tried to get info on the floor plans, we were given the run around from another agency. Then the third time I tried to reach them, we got a error message from the phone service. Now that was three unanswered attempts. I considered that a red flag. My husband asked why I was so intent on seeking them out and it was to see their floor plans. We hadn't yet found the floor plans that we were both in love with. The next time I called they answered, we had an appointment, and our first visit, they threw out a number and we were open to it, if they could get a certain property we wanted.
While I was contemplating this offer, I discovered the draftsman for the potential builders and discussed the floor plan, enticing me even more. It really seemed like everything was falling into place. Being led to Mr. So & So, seeking the land that the other Mr. So & So owned, calling his draftsman to learn about the floor plans pricing and affordability all brought us back to the "unreachable agent".
The rest of the story goes like this. Our first agent, Mr. So & So, pressured us to accept and offer from a family who never produced a pre-approval letter. We wrote a purchase agreement to build based on our purchase agreement for selling our home. Then everything fell apart. Our agent insisted we not cancel our agreement with the potential buyers thinking their financing would work out, In the mean time he put his house on the market and held open houses two weekends in a row. So I confronted him and dropped him. The agent we had the purchase agreement with, purchased the land from the other Mr. So & So and everything still seemed to be working out. In a confusing way, but it all still seemed God directed. Now, our agents to build are our agents to sell, and we are in a contract with them until Feb 28th. So to sum all this up. I am now asking God if I misinterpreted everything, then help me to find peace staying in this home. Help us to drop the idea of moving and going forward any further. If we have not sold at, the end of the contract, help us to let go. It must not be in the cards.
It could just bed that we are not supposed to be working with the untouchables and I should have not persisted in working with them? This is what I need clarity on. After deciding I am no longer in love with this house, I don't want to be here anymore. It seems exciting to start over in a new neighborhood and new lay out and all that, not wanting to leave our awesome neighborhood. Ugh.
I wrote this more for me than you. Just saying. I have some praying and mediating to do. That is a also a fact. :)
FACTS:
1) I am a recovered alcoholic with over eight years sobriety.
2) No human power could cure me, only a power greater than myself whom I call God
3) I have been practicing listening to God & seeking his will for my life since day one of recovery.
4) I believe God speaks to us through others, music, books, nature, moments of peace, prayer and meditation.
5) I believe speaking with others with experience is wise council.
6) I truly believed we would live in our house FOREVER! or until we were really old.
7) I would rather have freedom to spend then a big house restricting our options.
That's enough facts. Here is the Crazy story or God speaking to me.... I believe it was God.
It's been two and half years since my husband told me how unhappy he was that I wasn't willing to move. He said he never thought we would stay in this house. It was a starter house, not a lifetime house. We looked online and decided for the upgrades we had done to our home we were not in a situation to move. We would have to downgrade so many things or space that it just didn't make sense. But at that point the seed was planted and I was never as content about staying in our home. Financially I was convicted, but considering my husbands feelings I just never had the same sense of ease.
Then we had our second child and other things were brought to light. The dangers our home imposed to the smallest of children, the two children in one room issue, the noisy playtime vs. baby nap time. There is also the issue of my gardens. They are beautiful, big, and many of them, eight to be exact. You can see how extremely time consuming it is to tend them and the hedges along the house. I end up going for walks and the park when I need to be weeding and edging.
I will have gardens again, but not until my children are more independent from me and there is time for them. I have already begun to remove flowers and plants shrubs in one. Aside from that, their are yet others typical daily living situations that have come up and the answer is to move. Get a different layout, different yard, larger garage, and less hardscape.
The start of the story wasn't even about moving. I asked my husband for more kitchen cabinets and some more efficient features. We were planning to change the island to the length of the kitchen table space and the present island, achieving more cabinet storage and a cleaner look. We were worried about over upgrading. We already added an addition, tile, and laminate floors to the entire upper level, with the exception of a patch of carpet in the living room for my husband. If you are wondering why laminate, it's because we have a dog and wood floors don't hold up as well as laminate. We have custom trim woodwork, built-ins, custom double sink vanity, all blind wood blinds and cellu-shades. Upgraded lighting in each room, ceiling fans, blah blah blah. We ended up getting three different market analysis and each one said "No more, it's time to sell, get a new home" We live right next to a community center and Jr. High school. a mile from an elementary school and a city sand bottom pool with a park, two blocks from another park, which I am only sharing so you know that we are in a sweet location. Location, location, location. right? Definitely!
So, I prayed and we discussed and I asked a few people if we were going to put in the market, when? They said "now" so I gave our home and extreme de-clutter and in two weeks we listed.
It was during all this time, praying, researching, asking, deciding that I felt I was being guided.
When it first came up, I asked a friend about agents. She said "you know, so & so" and I replied, "Ya, but" and then went and got info from someone else. Two days later, I ran into "so & so's" wife at the grocery store. She said I should give him a call. I never took a number, but then did call. He gave us our highest analysis of course. Then right before we went on the market I told a friend I felt I was being called to a certain neighborhood. He said you know "so & so" has property up there. I said "Ya, but" and a few days later, ran into his son at the hardware store. I didn't get a number, but decided to give him a call. We really liked his properties. Now what are the chances, the same scenario would play out with two weeks of each other. That to me was clear guidance. Not coincidence, I don't believe in that. I believe in God.
I had so much peace while I was packing up the house, I thought I would never leave. Yet it really felt the right thing to do.
Here's the part, I am still unsure of. On June 18th, the day before my brother's wedding, we called an agent (who is tied to building) recommended by a friend, and no one form the agency called us back. Then again the second time I tried to get info on the floor plans, we were given the run around from another agency. Then the third time I tried to reach them, we got a error message from the phone service. Now that was three unanswered attempts. I considered that a red flag. My husband asked why I was so intent on seeking them out and it was to see their floor plans. We hadn't yet found the floor plans that we were both in love with. The next time I called they answered, we had an appointment, and our first visit, they threw out a number and we were open to it, if they could get a certain property we wanted.
While I was contemplating this offer, I discovered the draftsman for the potential builders and discussed the floor plan, enticing me even more. It really seemed like everything was falling into place. Being led to Mr. So & So, seeking the land that the other Mr. So & So owned, calling his draftsman to learn about the floor plans pricing and affordability all brought us back to the "unreachable agent".
The rest of the story goes like this. Our first agent, Mr. So & So, pressured us to accept and offer from a family who never produced a pre-approval letter. We wrote a purchase agreement to build based on our purchase agreement for selling our home. Then everything fell apart. Our agent insisted we not cancel our agreement with the potential buyers thinking their financing would work out, In the mean time he put his house on the market and held open houses two weekends in a row. So I confronted him and dropped him. The agent we had the purchase agreement with, purchased the land from the other Mr. So & So and everything still seemed to be working out. In a confusing way, but it all still seemed God directed. Now, our agents to build are our agents to sell, and we are in a contract with them until Feb 28th. So to sum all this up. I am now asking God if I misinterpreted everything, then help me to find peace staying in this home. Help us to drop the idea of moving and going forward any further. If we have not sold at, the end of the contract, help us to let go. It must not be in the cards.
It could just bed that we are not supposed to be working with the untouchables and I should have not persisted in working with them? This is what I need clarity on. After deciding I am no longer in love with this house, I don't want to be here anymore. It seems exciting to start over in a new neighborhood and new lay out and all that, not wanting to leave our awesome neighborhood. Ugh.
I wrote this more for me than you. Just saying. I have some praying and mediating to do. That is a also a fact. :)
Saturday, November 6, 2010
No end in sight
After a week of negotiations the deal is dead. They looked at the house on a Saturday morning and had a second showing on Monday night. Tuesday the put in a low ball offer, we countered, the Wed they countered back, we countered back and discovered a red flag regarding their finances. Things seemed to decline quickly from there. They countered again on Thursday and we offered back our final counter on Friday. It was enough to kill the deal. The deal is dead.
I was confident on Friday if they really wanted this house we would have had a deal. The offer was close enough. Their payments would have been about $26 more a month, the difference would have cost us a fence. We just couldn't go that low without them being a strong contender. It would have been a whole different ball game if the guy wouldn't have been a loan officer and his agent a good friend.
So now back to the drawing board. It's hard to be encouraged and enthusiastic at this point. We are headed into the holiday season. We have had three couples look at the house twice. Two put in offers. Two really were not financially prepared. I wish things would happen as I would like, I wish it were that easy. Silly I know but, but since I'm wishing for things I might as well go for the gold right? We are practical people. We just need a true, financially sound buyer. We still are going to give away the farm. Really we are priced very fair and will work with someone but not give the house up at a short sale price. I am disgusted at agents who want solid owners to so.
So... still waiting. Still having faith and praying to be more positive and hopeful.
I was confident on Friday if they really wanted this house we would have had a deal. The offer was close enough. Their payments would have been about $26 more a month, the difference would have cost us a fence. We just couldn't go that low without them being a strong contender. It would have been a whole different ball game if the guy wouldn't have been a loan officer and his agent a good friend.
So now back to the drawing board. It's hard to be encouraged and enthusiastic at this point. We are headed into the holiday season. We have had three couples look at the house twice. Two put in offers. Two really were not financially prepared. I wish things would happen as I would like, I wish it were that easy. Silly I know but, but since I'm wishing for things I might as well go for the gold right? We are practical people. We just need a true, financially sound buyer. We still are going to give away the farm. Really we are priced very fair and will work with someone but not give the house up at a short sale price. I am disgusted at agents who want solid owners to so.
So... still waiting. Still having faith and praying to be more positive and hopeful.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Simply impatient
We had two showings on Saturday. I didn't sleep much on Friday because I was up late cleaning and then there is the baby waking early of course. Then last night was awful, tossing, turning, praying. I was here at the house working for one of the showings. The potential buyers were here for a half hour. Now that I think of it, they could have been toying with me. Knowing I'd be stewing over their long stay. At one point I listened as hard as I could to hear. The agent was listing when the addition was built and the basement finish and then I heard the wife say "I like the gate here and on the deck and the baby room" and the husband said "so this is 3004 finished sq ft? Then I thought they might be headed back down for a second look at the lower level so I ducked back in and took a deep breath.
I want so badly to be moving and changing the situation for some silly happenings around here. Like when I got home from the YMCA last night. I wanted to make a smoothie protein shake but the blender would have woke up the kids. In the middle of the night I wanted to make tea and do my bible study, but the microwave could have woke up the kids. My daughter is always being scolded for clothing the door to loud during nap time. My husband freaks out about the safety of having beginning walker by the stairs with the dog. I would like to not hear the train anymore. I would like to not squish to get the kids in the car seat. I would like to not worry about running the fireplace and the baby getting burned. Just a bunch of little things.
There is not better time to sit and spew about then on Halloween when I am sitting in the foyer waiting to give out candy because it is a pain to run up and down the stairs for each group of kids.
I know I need to end this entry with gratitude. I am grateful to have a safe, secure home over our heads. I am grateful my husband is employed in this tough economy. I am grateful for our neighbors. I love them, they are all so great and we can really count on them. We have a great location in town and I have all my gardens. Blah blah...blah. I am blessed though. This I know.
More will be revealed. God is never late, his timing is perfect and .... HIS will be done, not mine.
I want so badly to be moving and changing the situation for some silly happenings around here. Like when I got home from the YMCA last night. I wanted to make a smoothie protein shake but the blender would have woke up the kids. In the middle of the night I wanted to make tea and do my bible study, but the microwave could have woke up the kids. My daughter is always being scolded for clothing the door to loud during nap time. My husband freaks out about the safety of having beginning walker by the stairs with the dog. I would like to not hear the train anymore. I would like to not squish to get the kids in the car seat. I would like to not worry about running the fireplace and the baby getting burned. Just a bunch of little things.
There is not better time to sit and spew about then on Halloween when I am sitting in the foyer waiting to give out candy because it is a pain to run up and down the stairs for each group of kids.
I know I need to end this entry with gratitude. I am grateful to have a safe, secure home over our heads. I am grateful my husband is employed in this tough economy. I am grateful for our neighbors. I love them, they are all so great and we can really count on them. We have a great location in town and I have all my gardens. Blah blah...blah. I am blessed though. This I know.
More will be revealed. God is never late, his timing is perfect and .... HIS will be done, not mine.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Numbers game
Here we sit. Our house has been on the market over 75 days and we haven't have an offer since the 40th day. We finally had a showing though. Yeah. I would be more hopeful if they had at least taken a booklet on the house. This one wasn't a sale.
I have read reports that there are 7.69 houses in Minnesota on the market for every one buyer. That means there are at minimum six other houses we are in constant competition with. I did a search today for houses ranging from $225 - $275,ooo. There where 22 houses in my town that came up. Six of them potential short sale, four of them new construction, one a town home and one foreclosed. That means there are 10 existing houses that someone could purchase without having to be in a bidding competition or waiting on a bank or build. Of the 10 houses I recognized some of them from being on the market this summer along with us.
It's a killer to wait and wait and wait. I had heard the average house in my town is on the market for 132 days when we listed, and in Sept. heard the average time was 140 days. If that's the case we listed on July19th leaving us with an expected sale by the end of Nov. Let's see if the number game works itself out. I have also played the numbers against the absorption rate of 7 months, suggesting we sell by the end of February. Time will tell, more will be revealed.
I have read reports that there are 7.69 houses in Minnesota on the market for every one buyer. That means there are at minimum six other houses we are in constant competition with. I did a search today for houses ranging from $225 - $275,ooo. There where 22 houses in my town that came up. Six of them potential short sale, four of them new construction, one a town home and one foreclosed. That means there are 10 existing houses that someone could purchase without having to be in a bidding competition or waiting on a bank or build. Of the 10 houses I recognized some of them from being on the market this summer along with us.
It's a killer to wait and wait and wait. I had heard the average house in my town is on the market for 132 days when we listed, and in Sept. heard the average time was 140 days. If that's the case we listed on July19th leaving us with an expected sale by the end of Nov. Let's see if the number game works itself out. I have also played the numbers against the absorption rate of 7 months, suggesting we sell by the end of February. Time will tell, more will be revealed.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Cosmic thing or what?
We haven't had a single showing since the day after we received an offer on our house. Not a single showing. Cosmic or what? Or is our agent lying to us about showing the house as a pending sale. I just don't get it.
Either way, I am trying my best to believe this is all working out for the best case scenario as possible. Our new house won't be completed until the middle or end of Dec anyway so I guess we don't even want an offer until October or November.
Frustrating, scary, tiring, bouts of hopelessness. On good days I stand firm in faith and the other days I am numb.
The hardest issue to overcome is not knowing we can trust anyone. We don't truly know what is going on with our agent and unfortunately he has revealed enough to question his true motives. We know it is more about his paycheck than our well being. And that goes for everyone in the industry. Deep breath.
I suppose I would be that way too if it were my job. I've spewed enough.
Either way, I am trying my best to believe this is all working out for the best case scenario as possible. Our new house won't be completed until the middle or end of Dec anyway so I guess we don't even want an offer until October or November.
Frustrating, scary, tiring, bouts of hopelessness. On good days I stand firm in faith and the other days I am numb.
The hardest issue to overcome is not knowing we can trust anyone. We don't truly know what is going on with our agent and unfortunately he has revealed enough to question his true motives. We know it is more about his paycheck than our well being. And that goes for everyone in the industry. Deep breath.
I suppose I would be that way too if it were my job. I've spewed enough.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
It's a poop day
I'm not kidding. My three year-old went potty like a big girl and locked the bathroom door. I knocked and asked if she needed help. She said no. You might think you know where this story is going. Well, it really wasn't anything she did. I had noticed the toilet water was extra low so I thought I would take that opportunity to clean it before I plunged it to get the water level up. Only I forgot about it and she took care of her potty herself, which then with over flushing caused a big mess. I managed to get everything sprayed to disinfect and then my son had a blow out.
All of this happening while I am packing up Summer clothes and shoes for both kids and washing to put away the new sizes and cooler weather clothes. By the time I got them down to nap, I still needed to empty my sons diaper pail, stinking to high heaven, which I forgot.
Here I am taking a break from everything thinking about how I still need to clean the bathroom, change loads and put away all these clothes before going to work tonight.
Ugh! Mama said there'd be days like this.
All of this happening while I am packing up Summer clothes and shoes for both kids and washing to put away the new sizes and cooler weather clothes. By the time I got them down to nap, I still needed to empty my sons diaper pail, stinking to high heaven, which I forgot.
Here I am taking a break from everything thinking about how I still need to clean the bathroom, change loads and put away all these clothes before going to work tonight.
Ugh! Mama said there'd be days like this.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Ups and Downs
Today is a down. We had an offer on Friday night and the first thing we did was ask for the lenders letter of approval. By Sunday, with the encouragement of our agent we hesitantly accepted the offer. Monday came and went with no lender letter of approval, no inspection scheduled and Tuesday brought more of the same. Tuesday we met with the builders who had the lot we wanted and we signed a purchase agreement to begin with them. Wednesday at 5:15 we learned our buyers lost their approval due to what they claim is fraud and now we are back to impatiently waiting for showings and offers.
I believe with everything in me that our home will sell in time for us to still move into our new home. I believe that. But we are back in the swamp of "unknowns" and all I can do is hope. Have faith and wait for more to be revealed. Always a lesson in how truly powerless we are. Faith and hope. Faith and hope. That we have been guided and are still being guided by our God in our thoughts and action regarding this life change for us. He already knows who will live in this house. He already knows the timing of all things. He already knows and it will be revealed and occur according to his grand plan, his will, not mine.
Thank God in Heaven for his power and knowledge that all things may come together for the good of those who believe.
I want to be sad, but how can I? I began this journey believing the peace I felt in such a decision was divinely provided by Him who knows all things. So what is there to be sad about, it just taken a different course than I expected, it's not over, it's just different.
I believe with everything in me that our home will sell in time for us to still move into our new home. I believe that. But we are back in the swamp of "unknowns" and all I can do is hope. Have faith and wait for more to be revealed. Always a lesson in how truly powerless we are. Faith and hope. Faith and hope. That we have been guided and are still being guided by our God in our thoughts and action regarding this life change for us. He already knows who will live in this house. He already knows the timing of all things. He already knows and it will be revealed and occur according to his grand plan, his will, not mine.
Thank God in Heaven for his power and knowledge that all things may come together for the good of those who believe.
I want to be sad, but how can I? I began this journey believing the peace I felt in such a decision was divinely provided by Him who knows all things. So what is there to be sad about, it just taken a different course than I expected, it's not over, it's just different.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Still looking
My husband didn't get the info he wanted on the lot I liked. I don't love the lot by the way, it's just one of the limited full basement lots left out of four. It seems the most accommodating to young children.
Anyway, the search goes on and leads us to a township and therefore a neighboring town. Not bad, things could be worse. I am so tired of wondering and looking and researching. I am almost ready to settle for any existing home. Maybe that was his plan all along. Ha!
So much for Evergreen Academy. There is a house plan I like, I should just ask the designer if Gene could take a look at it and price it out for me. Maybe I should do that. Maybe I should go back to bed.
Anyway, the search goes on and leads us to a township and therefore a neighboring town. Not bad, things could be worse. I am so tired of wondering and looking and researching. I am almost ready to settle for any existing home. Maybe that was his plan all along. Ha!
So much for Evergreen Academy. There is a house plan I like, I should just ask the designer if Gene could take a look at it and price it out for me. Maybe I should do that. Maybe I should go back to bed.
Friday, August 20, 2010
I am in need of therapy
Since I don't have a therapist, last night I spewed to my brother for about 20 minutes and my Mother for about 30 minutes and prayed not nearly long enough, but long enough to conclude this...
We are thirty-two days on the market and my husband still haven't locked in a plan. We need a plan right? I have friends reminding me that building a house can destroy marriages (that is what happened with one of their sons) but I know any stressor can break a weak marriage. When my husband and I had built this house we weren't even married, we were taking on a wise financial investment. LOL! He told me when we listed our house he held a resentment at me for having to live in this town (my home town) and also for living in this house for twelve years when it was supposed to only be a starter home.
In all my righteousness, I explained had we not stayed we would have changed floor plans and ended up in a two story that was too small for us and we would be upside down in this economy and unable to make this move. Sharing this now, I think I should get off the pedestal.
At any rate, I want what I want and I want it now. I want the new construction home with the pass through pantry and square feett of the five bedroom so we can have four bedrooms and my husband can have his dang loft. Everyone needs to get something they want. HA!
We meet again today with the agent representing the builder to see if the house will work on the last lot we are even willing to consider. Let's see how it goes. More will be revealed and maybe by the end of the weekend we will know if we have an offer from the family that came back for a second viewing. The greatest gift, thanks to Mother and brother, I was able to remain calm last night and discuss our future plans, instead of explode like a volcano. At this time, I no longer need a therapist. I just need to thank my family.
32 days on the market, 6 first showings, 1 second showing, no future plans, awesome husband, awesome children, many blessings.
One side note, I was getting carried away with Feng Shui. About seven years ago my sister gave me this book. I liked the fact that it simplified decorating for me. Put certain colors here it will bring harmony and such. Well, I am easily influenced. I am. I was getting carried away thinking this home needed to fit the Bagua map for good prosperity, knowing it's not true. Sometimes...I disappoint myself. So I decided this is a false idol and looking for support to make the right decision I stumbled across a believers blog discussing just that. Thank goodness for Nick and his blog. I was encouraged to throw out the book once and for all, leaving all my destiny to the designer who already knows the full the plan and doesn't tell me I need a certain color in a certain space and a chaos in the garage creates disharmony. Dah. Just wanted to share I'm thankful for all the believers in my path.
We are thirty-two days on the market and my husband still haven't locked in a plan. We need a plan right? I have friends reminding me that building a house can destroy marriages (that is what happened with one of their sons) but I know any stressor can break a weak marriage. When my husband and I had built this house we weren't even married, we were taking on a wise financial investment. LOL! He told me when we listed our house he held a resentment at me for having to live in this town (my home town) and also for living in this house for twelve years when it was supposed to only be a starter home.
In all my righteousness, I explained had we not stayed we would have changed floor plans and ended up in a two story that was too small for us and we would be upside down in this economy and unable to make this move. Sharing this now, I think I should get off the pedestal.
At any rate, I want what I want and I want it now. I want the new construction home with the pass through pantry and square feett of the five bedroom so we can have four bedrooms and my husband can have his dang loft. Everyone needs to get something they want. HA!
We meet again today with the agent representing the builder to see if the house will work on the last lot we are even willing to consider. Let's see how it goes. More will be revealed and maybe by the end of the weekend we will know if we have an offer from the family that came back for a second viewing. The greatest gift, thanks to Mother and brother, I was able to remain calm last night and discuss our future plans, instead of explode like a volcano. At this time, I no longer need a therapist. I just need to thank my family.
32 days on the market, 6 first showings, 1 second showing, no future plans, awesome husband, awesome children, many blessings.
One side note, I was getting carried away with Feng Shui. About seven years ago my sister gave me this book. I liked the fact that it simplified decorating for me. Put certain colors here it will bring harmony and such. Well, I am easily influenced. I am. I was getting carried away thinking this home needed to fit the Bagua map for good prosperity, knowing it's not true. Sometimes...I disappoint myself. So I decided this is a false idol and looking for support to make the right decision I stumbled across a believers blog discussing just that. Thank goodness for Nick and his blog. I was encouraged to throw out the book once and for all, leaving all my destiny to the designer who already knows the full the plan and doesn't tell me I need a certain color in a certain space and a chaos in the garage creates disharmony. Dah. Just wanted to share I'm thankful for all the believers in my path.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
There is always a breaking point.
There is always a breaking point, its just a matter of how far into misery or chaos or exhaustion we are willing to go. Yesterday I finally had a much needed moment with my creator. I finally surrendered. I have to say finally because the moment of peace, true peace, felt so rewarding I am sure it's been a while. It was so relieving. When I reflect on the recent past its hard for me know just when I started trying to rule the world but at some point I did. My husband was making comments about me being a control freak, I was on the phone with city planning, county planning, talking to three different developers, making my house plans, not sleeping and going insane.
Before we put the house on the market I was at peace, I was motivated, busy and tired, but I was confident that I was being guided and it was the right thing to do. Once we were on the market I was sleeping and doing a little complaining about the "hurry up and wait", but mostly things felt as they should. We even had a few showings.
Once I began looking at floor plans though, everything went crazy. Everything. The last week I has been the worst, then yesterday, I got humble. I got on my knees and said it all out loud to a power greater than myself. I surrendered my thoughts and reassured myself that God already knows who our buyer is, when our buyer will show, what we will sell for, where we will live, how many rooms, what the layout is, the location, and even how many children will the fill the house and if I will be homeschooling them. I was attempting to figure all of that out and then make it happen. HA! That is insane. So glad to have some peace. I guess until my next little control rampage. LOL
Before we put the house on the market I was at peace, I was motivated, busy and tired, but I was confident that I was being guided and it was the right thing to do. Once we were on the market I was sleeping and doing a little complaining about the "hurry up and wait", but mostly things felt as they should. We even had a few showings.
Once I began looking at floor plans though, everything went crazy. Everything. The last week I has been the worst, then yesterday, I got humble. I got on my knees and said it all out loud to a power greater than myself. I surrendered my thoughts and reassured myself that God already knows who our buyer is, when our buyer will show, what we will sell for, where we will live, how many rooms, what the layout is, the location, and even how many children will the fill the house and if I will be homeschooling them. I was attempting to figure all of that out and then make it happen. HA! That is insane. So glad to have some peace. I guess until my next little control rampage. LOL
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Now we wait
Well the house has been listed for four days and the professional photographer supposedly took pictures yesterday and is going to put together a virtual tour. I am excited to see the tour, but dreading showings and all the unknowns. I have no idea how I am going to keep the house up for the duration of our listing. I could flip out thinking about "this could, that could" of the future. So I will stay in the present. Daily tasks that need to occur, like three meals a day, and clean up of those meals. The laundry, the gardens, play time for the kids, nap time for the kids, work, and preparing pre-school materials for the year.
Then there is dreaming of the home I would love to have if this all works out and how we could make that happen. Something that we can afford that meets our needs. Jeez that is the part that is killing me. Having this conversation with my husband. Ugh, he always thinks I am so difficult. Here I am wanting to design our own floor plan. I must convince him to meet with a builder and consider property rather than just looking for existing. I don't think existing will work with the salon anyway. Then completely surrendering to God's plan, knowing that his timing is perfect and no amount of worry from me will change his plan. It is so difficult to just wait. Always difficult to be still.
Then there is dreaming of the home I would love to have if this all works out and how we could make that happen. Something that we can afford that meets our needs. Jeez that is the part that is killing me. Having this conversation with my husband. Ugh, he always thinks I am so difficult. Here I am wanting to design our own floor plan. I must convince him to meet with a builder and consider property rather than just looking for existing. I don't think existing will work with the salon anyway. Then completely surrendering to God's plan, knowing that his timing is perfect and no amount of worry from me will change his plan. It is so difficult to just wait. Always difficult to be still.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
We did it
One month after getting our first market analysis done we are officially listed on the MLS. I made jokes with our agent about how fast we listed. I asked him "If we do are going to sell our home when should we do it?" He responded "Now". So two weeks later he was over measuring, taking photos and we signed the papers.
It listed Sunday, July 18th with no photos. Monday with bad photos and tomorrow the professional photographer will go in and do the pics. Hopefully, we will have the professional photos and video tour up on Thursday or Friday and tell everyone then.
We worked our butts off cleaning, packing, and presenting our place in it's best light. Truth be told the hardest work is ahead of us. Showings are going to be very challenging with my home business and getting a toddler, baby and dog out of the house as fast as possible. I have started a run through check list of the things I need to do before leaving the house. You know counters cleaned, candle, music... oye!
I wonder what God has in store for us next. I am not the type of personality that enjoys surprises, but I love knowing God has experiencing his plan. I didn't much enjoy many of the experiences of my youth, but I wasn't walking in his will or listening for his direction then either. I have to say, my relationship with him now and seeking him now... I am a bit excited. Almost eight years after committing my life to him, surrendering and asking him to be my center, my point of reference, my teacher, guide, daily inspiration. I am comfortable with whatever the outcome is. His will is always best.
It listed Sunday, July 18th with no photos. Monday with bad photos and tomorrow the professional photographer will go in and do the pics. Hopefully, we will have the professional photos and video tour up on Thursday or Friday and tell everyone then.
We worked our butts off cleaning, packing, and presenting our place in it's best light. Truth be told the hardest work is ahead of us. Showings are going to be very challenging with my home business and getting a toddler, baby and dog out of the house as fast as possible. I have started a run through check list of the things I need to do before leaving the house. You know counters cleaned, candle, music... oye!
I wonder what God has in store for us next. I am not the type of personality that enjoys surprises, but I love knowing God has experiencing his plan. I didn't much enjoy many of the experiences of my youth, but I wasn't walking in his will or listening for his direction then either. I have to say, my relationship with him now and seeking him now... I am a bit excited. Almost eight years after committing my life to him, surrendering and asking him to be my center, my point of reference, my teacher, guide, daily inspiration. I am comfortable with whatever the outcome is. His will is always best.
Monday, July 5, 2010
We still love our home
So I ripped out a garden by the mailbox. I replanted the dwarf irises, removed the black knight invasive salvia and moved in a purple coneflower. It's not the best time of year to transplant but it was necessary. I kept thinking why am I investing two hours into this garden. Well, it was overgrown of course. As long as I still own it the maintenance must be done. It is a future gift to the new resident. A garden that won't need much tending for about four years.
Not only that, but I want the future the owner of this home to know that we loved this home. We prepared it for showing in less than two weeks time, we continued to maintain and love it through the end. I think that is important.
Some people sell their homes and stop watering the lawn. Some people stop caring for and loving their homes. That is not our style and I pray that the next owners are blessed from our diligence. I pray for the future family that lives here.
Not only that, but I want the future the owner of this home to know that we loved this home. We prepared it for showing in less than two weeks time, we continued to maintain and love it through the end. I think that is important.
Some people sell their homes and stop watering the lawn. Some people stop caring for and loving their homes. That is not our style and I pray that the next owners are blessed from our diligence. I pray for the future family that lives here.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
My favorite list to add to
Since I am on a list kick, here is a list of the reasons I could come up with to have another child:
1) I want another.
2) We already have all the clothes.
3) We are buying a new crib (due to the recall) so we should get our use of it.
4) Get some use of all the toys and gear.
5) To see if they will all look alike or if the two looking so much alike is a fluke.
6) It's fun making babies.
7) We are too old to wait and change our minds later.
8) I pray for my children to have sibling relationships.
9) If I home school ,I think a larger family makes the environment more dimensional.
10) Tax breaks! Ha, not really but it makes the list longer.
11) I am an older Mom so I would like them to be there for each other if we are not able to.
12) I pray about God's will for our family and so far it feels like we should.
13) We are moving to make room for another child.
14) We love them like crazy.
My littlest one is fussing so I will have to table the list till later.
1) I want another.
2) We already have all the clothes.
3) We are buying a new crib (due to the recall) so we should get our use of it.
4) Get some use of all the toys and gear.
5) To see if they will all look alike or if the two looking so much alike is a fluke.
6) It's fun making babies.
7) We are too old to wait and change our minds later.
8) I pray for my children to have sibling relationships.
9) If I home school ,I think a larger family makes the environment more dimensional.
10) Tax breaks! Ha, not really but it makes the list longer.
11) I am an older Mom so I would like them to be there for each other if we are not able to.
12) I pray about God's will for our family and so far it feels like we should.
13) We are moving to make room for another child.
14) We love them like crazy.
My littlest one is fussing so I will have to table the list till later.
All the reasons or just a few
Everyone asks "Why do you want to move? or Why do you want to sell your house?" I keep saying do you want the list of reasons or just a few? So I thought I should write the list of reasons out.
1) My husband wants a different layout. He'd like a two-story.
2)The garage is at least one stall too small.
3) We only have the two bedrooms upstairs. (If we have one more, 3 is too many for one room)
4) I don't like the idea of having my young children downstairs.
5) It is too noisy by there bedroom. Their wall backs to the kitchen.
6) The back yard is wide and narrow, it won't really fit a swing set.
7) We have already up and out graded the price the range of our neighborhood.
8) As our lives change, I no longer feel loyalty to our neighbors.
9) Steven hates the ceramic tile floors and the we loose money changing over to wood.
10) Steven wants a regular master suite bathroom.
11) The low interest rates are very motivating.
12) We want a less trafficked neighborhood.
13) I want more kitchen cabinet space.
14) We are ready for a do-over.
15) I don't like sharing my neighborhood park with all the families who's kids are playing tennis or ball in the area. The park is over crowded and the kids can be mean.
16) Most importantly, we've prayed about it and feel we are directed to move.
I need to add:
17) We can't stand hearing the train through out the night when the windows are open.
18) We have renters next door. This is the fourth family since it became a rental. Some naughty boys over there.
1) My husband wants a different layout. He'd like a two-story.
2)The garage is at least one stall too small.
3) We only have the two bedrooms upstairs. (If we have one more, 3 is too many for one room)
4) I don't like the idea of having my young children downstairs.
5) It is too noisy by there bedroom. Their wall backs to the kitchen.
6) The back yard is wide and narrow, it won't really fit a swing set.
7) We have already up and out graded the price the range of our neighborhood.
8) As our lives change, I no longer feel loyalty to our neighbors.
9) Steven hates the ceramic tile floors and the we loose money changing over to wood.
10) Steven wants a regular master suite bathroom.
11) The low interest rates are very motivating.
12) We want a less trafficked neighborhood.
13) I want more kitchen cabinet space.
14) We are ready for a do-over.
15) I don't like sharing my neighborhood park with all the families who's kids are playing tennis or ball in the area. The park is over crowded and the kids can be mean.
16) Most importantly, we've prayed about it and feel we are directed to move.
I need to add:
17) We can't stand hearing the train through out the night when the windows are open.
18) We have renters next door. This is the fourth family since it became a rental. Some naughty boys over there.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
What a drag
I can see my marriage crumble before my eyes. Trying to determine what type of home we would move into is going to be the end of us. In twenty minutes time all he has done is tell me what kind of house we are going to get and if I want something else I have a problem. He has insulted me, called me names and raised his voice without even hearing what I would like in a home. I am home with the kids, I work out of the home and he is deciding what we need in a home.
This sucks. I would rather stay here in the home I love, with all my plants and neighbors I already know and all my comforts. This new home process is almost impossible anyway. Sell your home and hope you find a new home in your price range you like. What are the chances? I know God has a plan for us but I haven't given enough prayer to this situation to feel lead.
If you build a home it would take a six months minimum to get into it. Renting for any amount of time and moving twice all sees so senseless.
New home ~ not today. We just replaced a whole bunch of appliances anyway. Now the garage door opener needs to be replaced. Once we replaced all of it nothing should break for a long time anyway.
There is nothing exciting or so great about this process. Nothing.
This sucks. I would rather stay here in the home I love, with all my plants and neighbors I already know and all my comforts. This new home process is almost impossible anyway. Sell your home and hope you find a new home in your price range you like. What are the chances? I know God has a plan for us but I haven't given enough prayer to this situation to feel lead.
If you build a home it would take a six months minimum to get into it. Renting for any amount of time and moving twice all sees so senseless.
New home ~ not today. We just replaced a whole bunch of appliances anyway. Now the garage door opener needs to be replaced. Once we replaced all of it nothing should break for a long time anyway.
There is nothing exciting or so great about this process. Nothing.
Monday, June 14, 2010
My blog inspiration
Now that I have shared about the possibility of moving, what about my gardens? I look around and think I will never have gardens like this again. Maybe that is good. Less is more kind of thing, but I will miss some of these beautiful plants. Plants that took some time to grow. The grasses, giant rudebekia, large hostas, moon bean coreaopsis, bright orange lillium, my peony bushes, Mrs. Robert Braydon clematis, I found it after a year of searching and now it's finally trailing along my stone wall. I don't want to give up my wall. Or my beautiful shaker style vinyl siding shed. The Amur maple I used to hate and have come to love, the River Birch I planted when my Grandfather died. The bushes I was convinced were dead that my husband replanted and resurrected. Twelve years of shaping, moving, planting and replanting. The money, time, thought, but mostly the idea of it all. Everything my gardens represent about my soul.
Having two children under the age of three leaves plenty of tending to do. Plenty. I can always plant again. I know I can always plant again.
Having two children under the age of three leaves plenty of tending to do. Plenty. I can always plant again. I know I can always plant again.
To move or not to move
We are having a market analysis done on our home. We have upgraded our self right out of the neighborhood. We are now at a point that we need to consider moving. Not because we don't love our neighbors or have enough social space, but because we are a consumable materialist society and we have stuff, kid stuff, craft stuff, sport stuff, and office stuff. I know you have "stuff" too. Well we are a bedroom short on our main level and a garage stall short for the wagon, bike, stroller and so on.
It is a struggle to consider new neighbors, new mortgage, desires, needs vs wants, and location, location, location. Even in my home time location is an issue. I am partial to staying as close as possible to our current location, I also don't have a desire to be right across from a school.
Then there is being a good steward of God's money to consider, being practical and staying in the financial comfort zone, but also not being so frugal 12 years from now we are wishing we just would have spent the money, because here we are.... wishing we would have just spent the money. Then we wouldn't be in this situation. These are big changes, big decisions and I can only pray God's will for us comes shining through. Big and Bright, those are the kind of directions I need, but the Lord already knows that.
It is a struggle to consider new neighbors, new mortgage, desires, needs vs wants, and location, location, location. Even in my home time location is an issue. I am partial to staying as close as possible to our current location, I also don't have a desire to be right across from a school.
Then there is being a good steward of God's money to consider, being practical and staying in the financial comfort zone, but also not being so frugal 12 years from now we are wishing we just would have spent the money, because here we are.... wishing we would have just spent the money. Then we wouldn't be in this situation. These are big changes, big decisions and I can only pray God's will for us comes shining through. Big and Bright, those are the kind of directions I need, but the Lord already knows that.
Monday, May 31, 2010
What's my investment.
I want a cost schedule for extra-curricular activities for children. I'd like to see a general guide with a side note sharing any details that wouldn't fit in the chart and I'd like it to also report commitment levels for the extra curricular for age ranges.
We have so much information provided to us about finances, mortgages, car payments, estimations for raising kids but not possibly the greatest investment over their developing years. I am not talking medical issues such as glasses or ortho appointments for braces, or even more complex or serious issues, but something parents can have influence over and even say no to.
I just think someone should publish something on this. I know I'd find it useful.
We have so much information provided to us about finances, mortgages, car payments, estimations for raising kids but not possibly the greatest investment over their developing years. I am not talking medical issues such as glasses or ortho appointments for braces, or even more complex or serious issues, but something parents can have influence over and even say no to.
I just think someone should publish something on this. I know I'd find it useful.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
My poor gardens.
My poor gardens. It sad that when we had our first baby the dog fell to second place and got less of my attnediton. With the second baby my plants started to die and if it weren't for the benefits plants provide for internal air quality I would let them. I wonder will go with a thrid.
Most importantly I sure hope I get the opportunity to ask that.
With that said, I haven't done any of the things I loved in my life before having kids. I managed to fit it in with one child, but the addition of two have left all that to wait. It makes me think the hard part of three will be will be the additional training, breaking up battles, keeping them all safe, and simply that it will be longer until I resume some of those activities I loved, like gardening and personal spiritual growth.
Its interesting how all my spiritual guidance now comes from reading on raising children or marriages and books like that. I do hope I read a book for fun soon. Just saying.
I know I am blessed with these two beautiful, happy, healthy, growing loving babies.
With that said, I am done for tonight.
Most importantly I sure hope I get the opportunity to ask that.
With that said, I haven't done any of the things I loved in my life before having kids. I managed to fit it in with one child, but the addition of two have left all that to wait. It makes me think the hard part of three will be will be the additional training, breaking up battles, keeping them all safe, and simply that it will be longer until I resume some of those activities I loved, like gardening and personal spiritual growth.
Its interesting how all my spiritual guidance now comes from reading on raising children or marriages and books like that. I do hope I read a book for fun soon. Just saying.
I know I am blessed with these two beautiful, happy, healthy, growing loving babies.
With that said, I am done for tonight.
Age is relevant
I don't know what possessed me to ask, but there were two teen girls standing behind me in the checkout line at Kohls. I pulled out a sandal and said "Are these cute?" the closest replied "ya, my Mom would were them." I couldn't help but say it outloud, "Boy am I old."
I don't know when it happened. I mean I am sure I knew at the time. It 's not that I want to look young anymore, I know pushin' 40 that's not likely, but I would at least like to look cute for my age. That is a clear line when you stop wanting to try to look young. Looking young sure does make an old lady look silly, but looking good and looking stylish, well I want that as much as I ever have.
If I would have had a baby at 20, that girl could have been my teen daughter. Sometimes I can't believe I have an almost three year old and an seven month old baby. I even want one more if we are so blessed before I turn 40.
Whoever said age is irrelevant is mistaken. It is in some situations I guess but overall I'm not buying that line.
I don't know when it happened. I mean I am sure I knew at the time. It 's not that I want to look young anymore, I know pushin' 40 that's not likely, but I would at least like to look cute for my age. That is a clear line when you stop wanting to try to look young. Looking young sure does make an old lady look silly, but looking good and looking stylish, well I want that as much as I ever have.
If I would have had a baby at 20, that girl could have been my teen daughter. Sometimes I can't believe I have an almost three year old and an seven month old baby. I even want one more if we are so blessed before I turn 40.
Whoever said age is irrelevant is mistaken. It is in some situations I guess but overall I'm not buying that line.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Eternal education of parenting
This is just academic education. My list of parenting books so far consists of Babywise, Babywise II, Toddlerwise and Pottywise. Creative Correction, Magic 123 for Christians, Say goodbye to whining, complaining, and bad attitudes in you and your kids, Mama Rocks rules and To prepare or protect. I also have No- why kids of all ages need to hear and parents need to say it and Good and Angry waiting to be read.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
My life is a word problem
Last Friday I kept thinking my life was a word problem. If you must go to the grocery store between the babies nap and next nursing session how much time do you have to shop? The baby will wake by 9:55 and need to nurse by 11:15. You must pack the shopping essentials after the baby wakes and get your toddler to go potty and clean up her puzzle before you leave.. HA! You also need time to put the groceries away once you get home.
If you think you have the answer now add in when you get to the store the car carts are gone so you have to wait for a store employee to go find a car cart and bring it to you.
The answer: You end up feeding the baby 20 minutes late. Fortunately he was okay with it that day.
If you think you have the answer now add in when you get to the store the car carts are gone so you have to wait for a store employee to go find a car cart and bring it to you.
The answer: You end up feeding the baby 20 minutes late. Fortunately he was okay with it that day.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Parenting through transitions
I am stunned by how difficult it is to change my parenting tactics to keep up with my little ones new skill sets. Each time she changes or advances I find myself bewildered at just how to parent this little different but overwhelming change.
Really she is just tweaking her technique, and that's all I need to do as well, only it I find myself baffled at what the little new change needs to be sometimes.
Sometimes its as simple as just skipping the counting, or coming up with clever consequences, but these things can really trip an unpracticed parent up. I have found it takes me about a week to even notice it's changed, and then at least another week of changing my thinking as to how to handle it.
Then I think, these are the most frustrating times for me as a parent because suddenly in all the chaos I have to solve a puzzle I didn't attend to make time for. Deep breaths. All is well.
Really she is just tweaking her technique, and that's all I need to do as well, only it I find myself baffled at what the little new change needs to be sometimes.
Sometimes its as simple as just skipping the counting, or coming up with clever consequences, but these things can really trip an unpracticed parent up. I have found it takes me about a week to even notice it's changed, and then at least another week of changing my thinking as to how to handle it.
Then I think, these are the most frustrating times for me as a parent because suddenly in all the chaos I have to solve a puzzle I didn't attend to make time for. Deep breaths. All is well.
Real quick
There is no such thing as doing anything "real quick" with little children in your life. I look around and find myself in the middle of about eight started projects wondering when and how I am going to complete them. At least half of them before I start dinner. It's easy to move from breakfast leaving a mess on the table to get everyone dressed, but then the rush to clean up breakfast before lunch is good fortune.
My husband, when returning from work on evening, expressed his frustration that it seems we are always doing dishes. We are!
Laundry goes pretty smoothly around here, only the baby doesn't like when he gets left so I can change loads and carry up the folding. Even worse is when I go to do something and his follows and he is left alone.
The day goes so quickly unless I go to the park, which is dreadfully boring for me. I can't help but think, how come my toddler who is half my size gets all the free time so she can burn energy my fat *** should be burning energy.
That's enough of a rant.. The truth is, I wouldn't have it any other way, I just laugh at this seemingly easy tasks that get left half done because of constant interruption and hungry needy little ones.
My husband, when returning from work on evening, expressed his frustration that it seems we are always doing dishes. We are!
Laundry goes pretty smoothly around here, only the baby doesn't like when he gets left so I can change loads and carry up the folding. Even worse is when I go to do something and his follows and he is left alone.
The day goes so quickly unless I go to the park, which is dreadfully boring for me. I can't help but think, how come my toddler who is half my size gets all the free time so she can burn energy my fat *** should be burning energy.
That's enough of a rant.. The truth is, I wouldn't have it any other way, I just laugh at this seemingly easy tasks that get left half done because of constant interruption and hungry needy little ones.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
It is like it used to be
A friend of mine was telling me how her almost twelve year -old daughter came home from school saying the boy on the bus said "you don't even know what 69 is" and this began the very practical factual explanation of what 69 is. Now later when I told my husband the story I added "it's not like it used to be" only to reflect on my first memory of a sex conversation in the neighborhood.
The first time I remember learning about oral sex I was twelve, it was the summer before 7th grade, when kids were making fun of a neighborhood girl saying she is called BJ for a reason, not her name. Her name was Bobbie Jo, but they called her BJ because she gave blow jobs to boys. So it is like it used to be. Oral sex conversations happen around eleven, periods happen around eleven and twelve, and boobs happen and sex conversations happen and it is like it used to be.
The first time I remember learning about oral sex I was twelve, it was the summer before 7th grade, when kids were making fun of a neighborhood girl saying she is called BJ for a reason, not her name. Her name was Bobbie Jo, but they called her BJ because she gave blow jobs to boys. So it is like it used to be. Oral sex conversations happen around eleven, periods happen around eleven and twelve, and boobs happen and sex conversations happen and it is like it used to be.
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